The Best Worst Gimmicks of All Time of the New Generation
This week we will be delving into some of the best (or worst) gimmicks in the history of the New Generation Era (sometime in the early to mid 1990s.) As Hogan, Flair, and Savage had brought wrestling into the mainstream, a new stable of over the top characters were pushed by WWF. These characters included the aforementioned wrestling clown, a scarface stand in, a very sexy boy, just a fucking Canadian Mountie, the usual demagoguery, racism, and fear of foreigners, two fat guys named for Natural Disasters (which was coincidentally also their tag team name and a description of their abilities,) a tag team rip off of The Mad Max franchise, a rip off of the rip off of the Mad Max franchise (wrestling is a strange place,) and an undead, super powered funeral parlor attendant and his dad who summons him from an urn; and probably runs the funeral parlor. It was the 90s. The cocaine hangover of the 80s. Ask Macho Man.
Anyway.
10: Doink the Clown
Here's a gimmick I absolutely love. It's so simple and cheesy and 100% 1990s. Like, this gimmick can be represented by Michael Jordan dunking a Polly Pocket while Chumbawumba's "Tub Thumping," ironically plays. It just reminds me of long hours playing with GI Joes and making what our parents probably saw as desperate cries for help on KidPix; Apple 2e style.
Doink the Clown was a clown. He also had a little Hornswaggle clown guy with him; as if being degraded for being a dwarf wasn't degrading enough, Uncle Vince makes him a clown. I guess that's why he smells the money he gives away while I don't ...have any money. Anyway.
persona was originated by Matt Osbourne and used in the very heart of the New Generation Era; from 1992 to 1996. Matt left the company in 93 but you know Uncle Vince; the character was then played by five other wrestlers. Osborne was still playing Doink up until his death in 2013.
In the ring Doink was a mega heel, pretty much incapable of being a typical face because you know...he's an evil clown and clowns are horrid. However, wrestling rarely follows that kind of logic so of course eventually they began to cheer the miserable clown, and he started to fuck with Bobby Heenan and other heels; to the delight of the fans. This was after Osbourne was fired for substance abuse (see: Uncle Vince is a dick) and the character had been picked up by Ray Apollo. It was at this point that diminutive wrestler Claude Giroux was added as Doink's accomplice; the aptly named, "Dink."
Giroux is an amazing guy in his own right, so halfway through writing this I realized I needed to give him his due. Claude went up one of the toughest roads in the wrestling...highways. okay, metaphor not so great, but seriously this guy had it tough. You see, when he started in Canada (see: his name) in the late 70s as Tiger Jackson, "midget wrestling," even though it was so delightfully named, was seen as a sort of freak side show to the, "real wrestling." Because of this Clause had to move from territory to territory, never really settling down too long. He was in NWA, WWC, as well as in WWF, wrestling with his brother; who was also a dwarf and called, "Little Beaver," because wrestling. He also teamed with the Bushwackers as, "Little Louie," (because the WWF and if he had been black it would have been like, "Black Little," or something,) and helped them win a feud with the Beverly Brothers, so good for him! Then he began impersonating wrestlers, starting with the Macho Man (the very sensitively named Macho Midget,) and his most famous incarnation; Dink.
What follows is for real. I'm not making it up.
Dink was presented to Doink as a present from Santa Clause. That is the best sentence I have ever written. And it's all true. Santa gifts Doink a little Dink and Oh man Doink totally should have lifted him up like Simba in Lion King but that movie didn't exist yet. Anyway, Dink joins in the antics and even wrestles against Bam Bam Bigelow (plucky chap,) at Wrestlemania X. There was also a time when Doink and Dink joined up with Wink and Pink (also midgets, WWE picking up some of George Lucas' slack,) and they took on King Lawler and his (trigger warning,) team of Little Kings; Queasy, Cheesy, and Sleazy. Yup. That happened too. In 1995 he left the company to return to Canada and HOLY FUCK HES STILL WRESTLING! Good for him, that plucky little, aw shit I'm sorry.
Anyway, back to Doink. Pretty soon after that he went on the job for guys like Jeff Jarrett and Hakushi (yeah, fucking Hakushi) finally loosing his last television match to The Game Aka The Son in Law (who was still Hunter Hurst back then.) The last time Doink was seen on WWF was being beaten down by new anti-hero super face Stone Cold; as the crowd chanted, "kill the clown." So yeah. That's actually usually how gimmicks go in wrestling (you'll be reminded when we get to Razor and others,) and in fact it's sort of a time honored tradition; that your mud hole gets stomped by Stone Cold's walked dry boots or whatever. Poor Doink.
Doink had a short but memorable career in WWF, and once again it's the same sad story we see with far too many wrestlers after they leave the squared circle. Matt Osbourne struggled with addiction (you know, cause he was abandoned by Uncle Vince for Breaking Fabe) until his death and the miserable clown lived on as a testament to Vince McMahon's endless, shameless balls. Now I'm depressed.
But hey!
Dink the Clown is still hitting the mat so good on that plucky bastard and his fucking badass song.
Thanks for reading this and if you have time go drive to Montreal Canada and check out Claude Giroux; according to the Internet he's still around so. Yeah. Until next time, when I break down The Greatest Intercontinental Champ of all time; The Honky Tonk Man.
Cheers you plucky bastards.
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